This Is Why I call Myself A Single Mother!

I'm a proud mother to two most adorable kids to ever walk on the face of the earth. My first-born is a 2 and a half year old son and my last-born is a 4 months old baby girl. Both my kids are from the same daddy and I have no doubt that they were conceived with love, both of them!




My son, Bothando, Was born in 2012, at the time I was engaged with the daddy and it was the happiest time of my life. My daughter, Ncumolwam, was born this year, she got conceived while the dad and I were apart. Their father and I have been apart for almost two years now, he is still a supportive father, but I still call myself a single mother, and this is why:




When I got pregnant with Ncumolwam, it was up to me to keep her or not. From the onset, I knew that I was going to be alone in this, but I knew that it was a challenge that I was ready for! The thought of having another child, out of wedlock, freaked me out, but I am the type of person who always looks for the silver lining in every cloud. While we were still together with the dad, our plan was to always have two kids (boy and a girl), we would have loved to have twins, but we both knew it was fairly unlikely because there were no twins in both our families. But, alas, here are those two kids, just two years apart! I guess its true what they say, be careful what you wish for because you just might get it,ryt?!




So here I am, a year later with my kids, and it has been the happiest time of my life. I have never imagined myself as a Single Mother, I have always been the type that sees myself married with kids and living happily ever after. But the moment things started turning sour in the relationship, I knew my happiness was worth so much more than sticking around for the sake of being scared of single motherhood.




I am a SINGLE MOTHER, through and through! According to the dictionary a single parent is:




" A single parent, sometimes called a solo parent, is a parent, not living with a spouse or partner, who has most of the day-to-day responsibilities in raising the child or children. A single parent is usually considered the primary caregiver, meaning the parent the children have residency with the majority of the time"




I am all of that and so much more! All the day-to-day responsibilities are mine, my son is currently staying with my parents, by choice (they love him too much and can't stand being without him), but I still take care of his day-to-day responsibilities. I'm staying with my daughter currently, and I have been solely responsible for her since I got pregnant. Every holidays or long weekends or anything in between, he is with me. I'm the one who misses work because of immunization days. I'm the person who is a walking zombie because of sleepless nights because baby decided its time to play in the middle of the night. I'm the one whose clothes are filthy because of spit and vomit. I'm the one who gets to pick and buy all baby necessities and gadgets. I'm the first person who gets called when he gets sick and ends up in hospital, I'm the one who misses work and spend every minute of every day next to his hospital bed. I'm the first person who makes sure he has all his monthly needs and everything in between. I'm the one who gets to answer all the questions and have to face the disappointment in my son's face every time when daddy breaks a promise or fails to pitch up for a visit. I'm the one who deals with night terrors and nightmares, I am the one who deals with potty training and wake up with half of my pyjamas soaking wet! I am the one responsible to teach him how to kick a ball, to draw and everything else in between. U may ask, "But where is daddy?" Well, he is out there leaving his life, sends maintenance money every month, visits once in a while, while I deal with all the crappy parenting responsibilities. My kids see me as the monster because I'm teaching them manners, while with daddy, everything goes!!

No, I'm not trashing my baby daddy, wherever he is he knows I appreciate the little that he does, but I have the bigger responsibility! But I'm loving it. I'm not going to lie, it is tough being a career woman, mother to two, breastfeeding and trying to keep up with having a life! But, I wouldn't change it for anything in the world, I love being a mother and it has helped me to work extra hard and to grow as a person.




So please, Allow me the chance to brag and call myself a "SINGLE MOTHER!"

Take This Journey With Me!

Hello readers! My name is Thandokazi Rooiland, those close to me call me Tee. I'm a middle-child at home and blessed with two wonderful sisters (That's me in the middle).

 I'll be turning 24 this month and have a Bachelor of Technology in Chemical Engineering. I grew up in a small town called Mossel Bay, which is situated in the Garden Route (Western Cape). I'm a proud Yummy Momma to two kids, a handsome 2 and a half baby boy and a beautiful 4 months old baby girl. Growing up I was very smart, well clever! Never studied much but always ended up as a top Student.......Until I came to Varsity (yikes!). That place showed me flames I tell you, but through God's grace I managed to walk out with a degree.

 Growing up I always enjoyed reading and writing poetry, my favorite place had always been a library, well let me be honest, it was the only place that my parents allowed me to go to. I remember quite a few times how I got in trouble with my older sister because whenever she would be reading a novel, the minute she puts it down, there I would be grabbing it and reading.... Well, in my puberty years, i lost interest in books or poetry and concentrated on boys, hahahahaha Wrong move, right? Another thing about me is that I'm a Christian and a believer.... Never said I was saved! Im a believer, well at some point in my life I got saved. Huh, at a very young age and I've seen God work wonders in my life, thats why I still believe in his power, but, its just that I don't feel ready to get saved. I love the Lord with all my heart and I pray, worship and praise but being saved is still something that Im too scared to commit to.But I believe one day, one day, He will call me back home and welcome me with open arms just as the prodigal son's father.  

Growing up I've always kept diaries and wrote all my feelings in them, but unfortunately for me they always ended up in the wrong hands, my Mom's! That woman just has a way of sniffing out where I keep them, and that has caused me to ward off from writing everything in them, and unfortunately that brought me to a point that I completely stopped writing. My love for writing never stopped thou, until this day I tend to scribble my thoughts, advises and poetry verses in every page that I come across. What I've also noticed recently, after having babies, is how many of my friends, sisters and even cousins seem to run to me for Motherhood Advice 101,lol which I'm only to happy to provide, so much that I have subscribed to too many motherhood and pregnancy pages on my Facebook page and offer out advises to many mommies who need it. All of that and my love for writing has led to this blog, I feel I have so much to share and so much to learn at the same time from many people around the world. So yeah this is it, Welcome to SingleMommaByCircumstance, In this blog I'm going to be talking about Motherhood, being a career woman, love lost and gained, and relationships with God and others. 

Hope U will enjoy this journey with me! 

Love, 
Tee