Surviving Pregnancy At A Young Age!

Falling pregnant at a young age, or out of wedlock has always been seen as shameful. The community at large would have an opinion about the pregnancy, because to them it symbolizes that "you have been sleeping around" or "having unprotected sex". All of that shame, the gossip and everything else, comes back to the pregnant lady and haunts her, influences her decisions and some end up aborting because of all of that.So, what is the solution for that?! Is it OK, to fill the world with unplanned babies? Burden grandparents with our kids? What's a girl to do when faced with this?!?

I say, TO HELL WITH WHAT EVERYONE THINKS AND HAS TO SAY!! People talk, they have always talked and they will talk until the end of time. The decision is up to you, if you feel fit enough to carry the responsibility then please go ahead and keep that baby. I wont dwell on the part of able to afford and maintain the baby, but I'm talking about being in the right mindset to love, care and protect that baby while you are pregnant and after it is born. I'm not motivating anyone to get pregnant while young or not married because its thee most tough job you will ever do in your life, but if you happen to find yourself in that situation then please lend a ear to what i have to say:

Let me first tell you my story: As I have mentioned before I had always been a Top Student throughout Primary School and High School, I excelled in mathematics, Life Science and Physical Science. My teachers saw a Scientist, a Medical Doctor and an Engineer in me. Some even went an extra mile for me and enrolled me in extra classes and getting me bursaries. I even became the first black Headgirl. They had my whole life planned out for me, I did too. Not in a million years did I ever think ill be a this point, but My Prayer has always been "God, let me not leave the earth without touching one soul or talking some sense into atleast one person in my lifetime" I never asked or told God how that is to happen, but I just prayed about it. Well, God fulfilled my prayer in a way I have never imagined, because here I am today, with a story to tell that everyone can relate to.

Well, I fell pregnant at 21, doing my in-Service Training with Petro SA. When the Dr confirmed the pregnancy, my head buzzed with many questions, "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO" "WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY" "WHAT ABOUT MY TRAINING AND MY CAREER?" "IM NOT READY FOR MOTHERHOOD" and many others. I imagined the disappointment in the eyes of the people who moulded and helped me got to where I was. I knew a baby would be a major set-back, I probably would have to drop my training. Instead of wallowing in my troubles, I started to pray about it, having a supportive partner and family also helped a lot. I went to work and told them, i told my training co-ordinator, instead of them giving me a lecture, I got many congratulations and they offered me support in order to complete all that was required for me to finish my training so i could go to maternity leave and still graduate. let me tell u this, when God has a plan about your life He will stand by you and fulfill it. He will put people close to you to help you stand back on your feet again. Well I had my handsome baby boy and fell inlove with him instantly. And  the second one came too, I was faced with even more dissapointment at this point in my life, because it would be the second baby and I don't even have a proper job yet. My parents had such high hopes and expectations about me and I felt like I failed them. But let me tell you, once U stop talking too much and start praying more, things start to unfold themselves the way they should be.

Me n Lil Sis, carrying Bothando!

I Loved U boy!

Enjoying my 2nd pregnancy!

Personally, I believe that God used this experience in my life in order to get me to this point, to talk about it, how I survived it and help many others. Just as I have prayed my whole life. Let me tell you this, I enjoyed both my pregnancies, Yes there were times when it would all get too much but I chose to look for the positives in all I went through.

What motivated me and kept me going was that, these kids were NOT mistakes. Never, at any point in your life start to see your child as a mistake. He/she is a perfect plan made by God. Time out was taken in Heaven and God hand-picked YOU to carry one of his angels and bring it to life. He chose YOU to be the vessel and the oven to bake, create and carry his angel and bring it to life. He prepared YOU for this journey. And trust me, that is not just a task you should take lightly. I took those words, wrote them down and read them to myself every time I felt like the walls were closing in on me, and that carried me through and it still does up to this day. I'm a very prayerful person and it has helped me in a very big way. So If you in this situation, take those words, see your pregnancy as something special and enjoy it to the fullest because YOU are the chosen vessel for one of God's angels. Once U start to accept your pregnancy, you learn to love yourself and take better care of yourself, it all goes together. Once u work on yourself and accept the responsibilty, people around you will start to do the same.

Ncumo's first breastfeeding session

Seeing Boty for the first time

With Boty in my arms

With Ncumo in my arms

Once U start making God the center of everything in your life, your load becomes lighter.The first two years with Bothando flew by so fast. I was doing my b-tech, but I never missed any milestone in his life. I still look back in awe and wonder how I survived all of that. But with God it was possible, so If you find yourself in the same situation, find yourself a new friend called GOD  he is never too busy to listen and he will not gossip about you behind your back. Lean on him and let him take you through every step of the way. Motherhood is tough, but doing it with GOD is a breeze. I'm not preaching to anyone, but I'm sharing my own survival tip, they might or might not help you.

Through it all, keep this in mind: God trusted YOU enough and hand-picked YOU to carry one of his angels to earth. Not only that, but He trusted YOU enough that YOU will be able to raise that child well to be a better person one day. It was NEVER a mistake, it was in HIS plan for your life. It doesn't matter how it happened, whether the dad is there to help you or not, but YOU are the vessel. God made it in a way that a child is solely dependent on the mother for the first year of his/her life. Your child only really needs YOU, so YOU really need to have the right mindset in order to be able to do the job that He has set out for you. And, do not be afraid to turn to him to lead you when it all gets to much.

Happy Pregnancies, lead to Happy and Healthy Babies!

A happy mother=A happy baby!

Work on yourself first, everything else will fall into place!

WITH LOVE,

Tee